They just do. The only way they can work is if you they're on a timetable. We may not be able to put the war in Iraq on a timetable, but for the Love of Bejeezus, don't enter into an LDR without one.
2. It could be worse.
In my LDR, I found it comforting to check this site, True Military Wives Confessions, often to give me a reality check. These women don't see or hear from their men for months and months at a time. And their men could be blown away by an insurgent at any moment, so it's just nice to get some perspective on things when you're stressing that your S.O. is 500 miles away.
3. Technology helps.
With IM, anything is possible. And there have been some brilliant inventors out there with gadgets that make it better to be so far apart. Examples:
- The VIO aka Virtual Intimate Object, "a piece of software installed on a user's desktop, displayed only a single red dot. The dot faded to transparent over time, and would redden again only when the other half of the couple clicked on his or her own dot displayed on a computer screen hundreds of miles away."
- The Hug Shirt that works "when a person wearing the shirt applies pressure to the shirt's millimeter-thick cloth, the shirt captures the strength and location of the pressure with sensors sewn into its fabric and transmits the hug via Bluetooth to a cell phone. Passed as a text message to another phone in another city or country, that text message is translated into vibration and heat in the same location of another Hug Shirt worn by the hug recipient.
4. Romance is more important than ever.
Luckily, there's a site that will write a romantic love letter for you. You don't even have to be creative. It's like MadLibs! You just fill-in the blanks. What could be easier?!!
(But seriously, if you want the LDR to work, you'll have to beef up on the romance. The impact of sweet, simple, little things sent by regular mail is immeasurable. And it only costs $.42)
5. Don't give up.
The only thing that can keep it going is your desire for it to work. It will take patience, compassion, understanding, selflessness and commitment. If you don't think you possess these characteristics, it's probably best not to attempt an LDR.