2. DIY Aversion Therapy.
I've come to the conclusion I will probably never get married and have any more kids. Which is, in all honesty, probably for the best. The only problem is, I'm still a female with working hormones who feels the intense longing emanating from my uterus every time I see a baby. Ditto with weddings. Except the longing to be married is most likely psychological more than biological. Or not. Who knows? ANYWAY.
It's actually becoming painful, these uncontrollable urges, knowing I will never attain the objects of my desire. There's a few different ways I could handle this. One, become a hardlined practicing Buddhist devoted to releasing myself from attachment and desire. This might work, except I do already have a child I'm pretty attached to and oh yeah, I have little to no self-discipline so this probably won't work. Besides, my desire for buffalo wings pretty much runs my life, which leads to...
Second, I could just eat to numb the pain. Which would, in turn, make me so physically hideous I would have absolutely no chance of attracting anyone. Yep, a self-fulfilling prophecy. Hey, it worked for Kirstie Alley. She even got her own TV show.
Third, and this is the one I'm most leaning towards...Aversion Therapy. Here's how it works...Every time I see a baby, I'm going to imagine the most disgusting image in my head. And over time, this association will break down my desire to have one. Same with weddings. Every time I see a married couple being all cute or hear about a wedding, I'm going to imagine rivers of raw sewage running down the aisle.
I think it's already working....
3. OMG, I want this hoodie! Do you think they make them in kid sizes? Mason would freak!
4. TURN THE AIR CONDITIONING OFF! Open the windows! Damn! Haven't you heard of Global Warming? It's October, people!
5. This is when you know the media has more control over kids than their parents do. It's kinda sad.
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